I was in the fourth grade when I met someone that would dramatically shape who I was. Stephen and Anthony were my best friends in fourth and fifth grade. My family had recently moved for the second time in two years. First we moved from where I grew up in New Hampshire to a town in Massachusetts for a short year, and then again to a town in Connecticut. I was a quiet kid and did not look forward to making new friends. I had to do it twice in two years. Stephen and Anthony became my friends when I moved to Connecticut. And for the next two years, we were side by side every day. Well, almost.
Stephen could be difficult. If Anthony or I didn’t do things the “right” way, Stephen would be all over us. We got in many fights over the slightest of things. I knew the anger and stubbornness in Stephen so I wouldn’t take his side when he decided to get angry with Anthony. Anthony on the other hand, always sided with Stephen. It didn’t bother me much though. Stephen taught me to stick up for myself and what I believed in, no matter the cost. He would say that a person is nobody if he didn’t stand by what he believed in. Unfortunately, we didn’t always believe in the same things and would end up in week long fights. He also always taught me to not allow anyone to make fun of my friends or my family. I remember one particular day when he called me Suozzo Salami. It didn’t bother me, but I thought to myself, “this could be considered a shot at my family name”, so I asked him very nicely not to call me that. He refused, so another week long fight ensued. We sure did fight over silly stuff, but at least we had principles!
We always made it through those fights and became friends again. Until two years later when I moved away again, back to New Hampshire. We tried to stay in touch, but it’s hard when you’re 10 or 11 years old and two states away. We had one final fight where we never made amends. It’s was over a hat that I bought for his birthday. Actually, I didn’t buy it and that was problem. Stephen was offended that I had my mother buy him the Miami Dolphins hat he wanted. I felt badly and told him so. However, Stephen was not one to forgive with a simple sorry. It had to be more than that.
I talked to Stephen several weeks after that when he told me that his family was moving to the Massachusetts-Vermont border. It was the last conversation we ever had. It’s funny how well we remember certain things. I remember a lot from my best friend at the time. Even with all of our fights, I am thankful we became friends. We learned a lot from each other.
We all grow and change through the years. I have been married now for almost ten years and I am not the same person I was when I got married. Neither is my wife. The good news is that we have grown together. Stephen and I grew apart, but he will always be a part of who I am. “All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” (Helen Keller)
Thanks Stephen.
Enjoy Life.
Coach Randal Suozzo, CPC, ELI-MP
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