How's it feel to want?

I can’t get this title saying out of my head. Every time someone says that they want something I think of my college roommate who would respond to people with this phrase. He thought he was a comedian. When I really think about what he used to say I now think more deeply about one of his patented expressions.

Many people want. The want a new car. They want to win the megabucks. They want to travel the world. They want to quit their jobs. They want this, and they want that. What usually happens when people get what they want? They tend to want more.

It’s okay to want. It is very okay to want. Wanting is a good thing. It allows people to grow. It makes people work harder. Someone who wants more money ought to work harder in order to earn more money. Someone who wants to be a professional singer or athlete needs to work hard in order to get there. Those who work hard and achieve what they want have what many people continually search for, fulfillment. Those who fail to obtain what they want despite their efforts are faced with a dilemma. A dilemma of whether or not to continue put forth that effort, or maybe increase that effort, and to rise again to meet their new challenge. The strongest people in the world are the ones who rise up after get knocked down. They continue to want and don’t give up.

I want. I want my family to be happy and my children to be successful. I provide enough for my children so that they continue to want. Besides not being able to afford to give them everything they wanted, it would not benefit them anyway. It would not allow them to grow strong, or to learn how important it is work hard enough to obtain something they want.

Wanting something more than anything else in the world is very a powerful thing. It helps you determine who you are. It asks you how much you are willing to sacrifice in order to get what it is you want so dearly. Do you give up what you want because it is too hard to obtain, or do you fight harder for what you want? When you want something hard enough and long enough, achieving the reward is beyond comparison. It is definitely better than had you never wanted at all. So in the end, I have to say that while on the surface it may not feel good to want, deep down I know it is a good thing. Wanting creates a challenge.

Never stop growing. Never stop challenging yourself. Never stop wanting.

Enjoy Life.

Coach Randal Suozzo, CPC, ELI-MP

www.coachsuozzo.com

www.facebook.com/PassionDiscoveryCoaching

Can not getting what you want being a good thing too?…

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Daydreaming

The NFL football season has ended. The sport that draws the most attention here in the United States will put some people into withdrawals now that the Superbowl is over. This year I watched the Superbowl with my family. Well, at least the first half. My wife and I let the kids stay up past their bedtime to watch the first half. My wife and I were not far behind the kids to bed this night. It was nice not to have to stay up and watch the whole game because of the lopsided score this year. Yes, we go to bed earlier than most. 

When I was young, I always marveled at the adults who woke up early in the day. My wrestling coach admitted that he loved waking up at 5 a.m. every day. At the time, I couldn't even imagine waking that early every day. I like to sleep almost as much as the next guy, but I would also rather be awake and enjoying that time. It was hard however, to get myself around to spending more of my time awake and less time asleep. Finally, I had a friend who put things into perspective for me. This was in college when I my classes started at 8 a.m. while my roommates started their business, english, and political science major classes closer to noon. But anyway, they stayed up into the morning hours every night while I tried to hang with them until midnight. I remember finding out that they had stayed up until 6 a.m. one night, then went to class for 11 a.m. How they could manage perplexed me. My friend told me why I should try to stay up later more often. His perspective was simple, "you will get plenty of sleep when you die."

This did little for my rational thinking, but it hit a key note with my imaginary mind. You see, we are all gong to die. It's not pretty, but it's true. We will one day fall asleep forever. So why spend more time than necessary in sleep? We only have so much time, would we rather be dreaming or fulfilling those dreams? My friend helped me to imagine what I could accomplish by being awake more. 

I enjoy my moments of solitude. Morning has become the best time to cash in on that. So I made an effort to become more of a morning person. This allows me to fulfill a desire to have time to myself. To watch the sun come up. To have daydreams I can remember and that can inspire me instead of night dreams I can't always remember or are filled with things of fantasy such as flying.

Losing sleep isn't for everyone. Some people operate on the bare minimum as it is. I am finding it harder to cut back on sleep as I get older. But I still daydream about waking up before everyone and watching, listening, and feeling the peacefulness of a spring morning. The time when the rest of the world is still asleep and I am blessed to be the only one taking it all in. Breathing the cool, fresh air and feeling it fill my lungs. Hearing the birds chirp between the sounds of silence. Watching tiny clouds float past overhead in the vast blue sky. Thinking about how beautiful and wonderful this life is. And daydreaming about how I fit into it.

If you don't do this already, I recommend picking day to wake up early and doing nothing at all except being with your own daydreams; observing the world we live in; and enjoying a moment of solitude. If nothing at all, it sure is relaxing.

Enjoy Life.

Coach Randal Suozzo, CPC, ELI-MP
www.coachsuozzo.com
www.facebook.com/PassionDiscoveryCoaching

Happiness in 2014

“Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstance.” ~Dove (chocolate).

The year 2013 is over. Did you reach any of your goals you set at the beginning of last year? Did you set any goals? Whether you set goals or not, there were surely things that you wanted to accomplish in 2013. And when you start thinking about the things you want to accomplish in 2014, here are six things you might want to think about...

1. Think about things that are going to make you happy. Will losing weight make you happy? How about getting in better shape? Will doing more for others make you happy? Being happy should be the ultimate goal. Maybe that should be your goal...being happier. (I would love to coach someone who came to me with that goal!)

2. How realistic are the goals you are setting? It's true that in failure we learn. But sometimes it's better if the goals you set are achievable. Try this, dream big but set multiple miniature goals in a sequence that will allow you to reach those dreams once they are achieved. Having a goal of climbing Mount Everest before you even climb your first mountain may be a little too far sighted. Dream of climbing Mount Everest one day, but start with a goal of climbing a few mountains first. It's possible that you may even end up ditching your old goal in favor a new one along the way.

3. Think about how your goals affect those around you. Training to climb the highest mountains may take a lot of time. Will you do it alone? Will you lose time you spend with loved ones to your training? Think about the value of what you want to achieve versus what you may be giving up to reach your goal. 

4. Be excited. There's no point in setting goals if you can't be a little excited about the idea of achieving them. You may even need that excitement at some point along the way. If you want to be able to do 100 pushups, you may want to quit at 50 and getting past it may only happen if you can get excited about your vision of doing 100.

5. Repeat step 1; think about things that are going to make you happy.

6. Be proud of your accomplishments. Achieving goals takes mental strength. You need focus and the strength to keep going during times when you want to stop.

Small goals lead to bigger goals. So start small and don't stop.The end of the year is the beginning of a new year. It's a good time to start setting goals, but when you achieve a goal in April, set another one. Keep the momentum going and enjoy the ride. Remember that Dove chocolate quote, that happiness is not in the circumstance of achieving your goals, it's in you every step of the way.

Enjoy Life.

Coach Randal Suozzo, CPC, ELI-MP
www.coachsuozzo.com
www.facebook.com/Passion DiscoveryCoaching

Be a True Fan

Why do sports fans go so crazy for their teams? Football stadiums can be unbelievably loud with fans supporting the home team. Fans come to the stadium with a passion that they cannot replicate in other areas of their life. Even non-football fans can get caught in the environment of the crowd and start clapping and cheering as loud as they can. Have you ever been in that type of environment? Where everyone around you is screaming at the top of their lungs in support of a sports team? It’s contagious.

Let me tell you a little bit about true fans. Everyone loves to win. Winning feeds the excitement inside you. The more your team wins, the more that excitement stirs and grows into a passion. True fans feel that passion pull them towards watching their team, cheering for them, arguing with friends in defense of their team, and in general support of their team. Some fans can get a little carried away. They can wear the same shirt that hasn’t been washed in weeks or even start fights with fans of other teams. It can be a sickness, but it is a passion nevertheless.

Unfortunately for some, a passion for their sports teams is the only passion they have. So how can there be so much passion for something so unpersonal to people? Sports teams don’t recognize regular fans for their support. Athletes don’t call a fan out by name. True fans don’t care, in fact general acknowledgment of “the fans” from an athlete only fuels their passion further. It’s so simple, yet so mind boggling how there isn’t more passion in other areas of life. Why? How can we replicate our passion for sports teams into passion for what we do everyday? That kind of passion you see in the stadiums where the entire bleachers are shaking, where the sound can be deafening, where strangers embrace in celebration?

Well, in order to find the answer, you need to ask the right question. That is why life coaching has become so successful. Coaches are trained to ask questions. They are also trained to listen, really listen. Good coaches not only listen very well to what is being said, they also listen to what is not being said. Through a series of listening and questioning, they find the right questions to ask. Questions that are often overlooked by the ones searching for those right answers.

A few questions you may ask yourself in your search for passion:

Who are you? How can you live your life in a way that keeps you true to who you really are? What would happen if you lived each day with passion?

Ask better questions. Find something you can be passionate about on a regular basis. Be true to yourself; be a true fan of yourself.

Enjoy Life.

Coach Randal Suozzo, CPC, ELI-MP

www.coachsuozzo.com

www.facebook.com/PassionDiscoveryCoaching

A Remembered Friend

Today I was thinking of a very old friend of mine. We are no longer friends, but I will always remember that friendship.

I was in the fourth grade when I met someone that would dramatically shape who I was. Stephen and Anthony were my best friends in fourth and fifth grade. My family had recently moved for the second time in two years. First we moved from where I grew up in New Hampshire to a town in Massachusetts for a short year, and then again to a town in Connecticut. I was a quiet kid and did not look forward to making new friends. I had to do it twice in two years. Stephen and Anthony became my friends when I moved to Connecticut. And for the next two years, we were side by side every day. Well, almost.

Stephen could be difficult. If Anthony or I didn’t do things the “right” way, Stephen would be all over us. We got in many fights over the slightest of things. I knew the anger and stubbornness in Stephen so I wouldn’t take his side when he decided to get angry with Anthony. Anthony on the other hand, always sided with Stephen. It didn’t bother me much though. Stephen taught me to stick up for myself and what I believed in, no matter the cost. He would say that a person is nobody if he didn’t stand by what he believed in. Unfortunately, we didn’t always believe in the same things and would end up in week long fights. He also always taught me to not allow anyone to make fun of my friends or my family. I remember one particular day when he called me Suozzo Salami. It didn’t bother me, but I thought to myself, “this could be considered a shot at my family name”, so I asked him very nicely not to call me that. He refused, so another week long fight ensued. We sure did fight over silly stuff, but at least we had principles!

We always made it through those fights and became friends again. Until two years later when I moved away again, back to New Hampshire. We tried to stay in touch, but it’s hard when you’re 10 or 11 years old and two states away. We had one final fight where we never made amends. It’s was over a hat that I bought for his birthday. Actually, I didn’t buy it and that was problem. Stephen was offended that I had my mother buy him the Miami Dolphins hat he wanted. I felt badly and told him so. However, Stephen was not one to forgive with a simple sorry. It had to be more than that.

I talked to Stephen several weeks after that when he told me that his family was moving to the Massachusetts-Vermont border. It was the last conversation we ever had. It’s funny how well we remember certain things. I remember a lot from my best friend at the time. Even with all of our fights, I am thankful we became friends. We learned a lot from each other.

We all grow and change through the years. I have been married now for almost ten years and I am not the same person I was when I got married. Neither is my wife. The good news is that we have grown together. Stephen and I grew apart, but he will always be a part of who I am. “All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” (Helen Keller)

Thanks Stephen.

Enjoy Life.

Coach Randal Suozzo, CPC, ELI-MP

www.coachsuozzo.com

www.facebook.com/PassionDiscoveryCoaching

How much is too much?

During the day I work full time as an engineer. At night and on weekends I am a professional life coach for people looking to figure out what ignites their inner passion. In the spring, I coach my son’s Little League baseball team. This past year I volunteered to be part of my town’s Little League board. So when I recently signed up to volunteer as a broadcaster for my town’s local television station, someone close to me said that I was taking on too much. It got me thinking, how much is too much?

I love sports. I love that my son has a passion around baseball. I dream that he has enough ability to match his passion and take him far. I also temper those dreams with the consideration that he may one day decide he doesn’t love baseball as much as I think he does. And I know enough to enjoy what I have right now, today, which is a seven year old who loves to play. I also love to coach him. And volunteering to be part of the Little League organization in my town will allow me to keep coaching him for the next five years. In this town, you’re likely not to be a coach for long, if you are not part of the board.

Now, my favorite sport has always been football. I played in high school and even did a little bit in college. Every Sunday, since I was a kid I would watch the Sunday game with my father and two older brothers, and I am now finding my son is starting to want to watch too. I have enough experience and knowledge to broadcast a high school football game, which I did a couple of weeks ago. It was a lot of fun. I now have the desire to improve on that performance. I want to do it again.

So far I have given up one night a month for the Little League board meetings and one Friday night to broadcast football under the lights. This is in addition to my engineering job and the extra time my coaching business takes me away. It is time spent away from my wife. Time, the most precious gift we have in our life. But time is worth what you use it for. Useless hours are spent by millions of people every week in front of a television or computer. Time is made much more valuable when you spend it enjoying what is most important to you. My wife and family are the most important to me. So I make that time valuable.

So do I do “too much”? I don’t think so. I spend a lot of my time supporting my family through engineering; I spend a lot of my time supporting my passion through coaching; I spend a little time on the Little League activities and broadcasting that I enjoy; and the rest of the time I spend with my family. I can acknowledge that I give up time that I can enjoy with my wife in order to enjoy something else. In order to make up for “lost time” with her, I make the time that we do have more enjoyable. We had a lunch date the other day. We spent time one night putting the new hardware that she bought on our kitchen cabinets. We cuddle more. She will pour a glass of wine while I sip hot chocolate and we’ll just talk, without distractions. It is because I realize I have less time with her, that I try a to make the time we do have more valuable. I don’t think I am doing too much. I think I am doing just the right amount, leaving myself enough energy to capitalize on the time I have - doing things I love most and doing things with the people I love most.

Time is as valuable as you make it. Spend it wisely.

Enjoy Life.

Coach Randal Suozzo, CPC, ELI-MP

www.coachsuozzo.com

www.facebook.com/PassionDiscoveryCoaching

Photo from media manifesto. Click for link.

In Loving Memory

He was a husband, a father, a brother, an uncle, and a friend. When his widow told her brother that her husband was like a brother to him, he could barely get out the words, “he was so much more than that.”

What makes a person great is not what they have collected throughout their life, nor necessarily what they accomplished, but it is how great they made others feel. He was respected by all, and loved by many. My uncle was a great a person and he will always be remembered as such by those whose lives he touched.

Be great.

Enjoy Life. 

(It won’t last forever.)

Coach Randal Suozzo, CPC, ELI-MP

www.coachsuozzo.com

www.facebook.com/PassionDiscoveryCoaching